Filed under: Life
An emotion, an instinct, a trigger, a killer. The beads of perspiration that may form on your forehead, the chill up your spine, the uncontrollable shaking of your legs or the source of your tears, fear revolves around and enters our lives from time to time. So what is the primal form of fear? Probably fear itself? Sometimes life can be so monotonous that there is nothing to fear but fear itself, and the only thing to fear is fear knocking on your front door itself. Imagine the tremendous comfort of feeling no fear, and yet, we may owe our existence to fear itself. The fear of getting hurt that is already primarily responsible for keeping us alive. In some cases, fear itself can be a emotion that one can do surely do without, same goes for others like greed and desire. However, won’t one then transform into a non-living organism without it’s basic instinct, a robot, never fearing for it’s own life and probably won’t even know it’s terminated when it’s head is on the other side of the hall. If life was just a switchboard, where we can turn on the mechanisms of our body when we need it, like turn on the trait of focus and switch off the need to sleep during lessons. Unfortunately, this switchboard, no matter how advance will still never match up to our instincts. Yet, I already have so much to fear and fear itself, and my life may be this switchboard, where I could trade it away and hopefully go to a better place, with no fear.
Filed under: Life
To deny, deprive and deject myself. Why not get shot instead, like an animal.
Filed under: Life
Finally experienced some holidays, which is classified under the ability to just stone, do nothing, walk around the house like a zombie and most importantly, sleep till the cows come home. DAMN what a good feeling it is! Fantastic in fact! Though the more I sleep the more I do feel like sleeping. Well I am sure I can get over that with just more sleep =) Started on revision for my block test already. Another first in my life, where holidays are just spent to do nothing but slack my life away. It’s all about change! Yes, thank god the weather finally changed yesterday to develop into some sort of mild thunderstorm, black clouds are warmly welcomed after tolerating almost a month worth of blistering sun and heat. Anyway has anyone out there watched Gran Torino? Probably some already had n the cinemas, but for those who have not, do get it! Get a DVD or something, probably down$%^& it, thought I do not really support it. Clint Eastwood is AWESOME, and the show is great, kinda old school rustic film, with a gripping plot. It will be a shame to miss it! Thanks to my holidays, I managed to enjoy this film. Well no it’s probably time to hit back to the stack of notes, hopefully I can keep those eyelids open for long.
Filed under: Life
How would you define robbery? A removal of an item in your possession with force? In that case, I can gladfully classify the extended curriculum into one week of my mid year vacation as an act of daylight robbery. Thing is, I guess it’s useless to report against the authorities to the authorities. Tired would be the perfect word to describe my current state of mind, probably everyone in college is feeling the same too. Oh tomorrow is Sunday again, a reminder of the imminent school days which are about to begin pretty soon again, damn.
`Everything is worth it.
Finally I managed to get my PI submitted today! Gotten the chance to breath just a slight sigh of relief, and not a big one as there is surely much more to come. It’s been a pretty long time since I put on a blazer or suit for a formal event (What’s the difference between a blazer and a suit?). I can say that it was a good experience, and for once, I probably felt good though it was insanely warm and uncomfortable.
Rejoice! Smile! It goes a long way just to do so. I have never noticed how meaningful it can be just to get a few messages a day from a person I care for, messages that I have taken grated for during the past. Today, just a message or two during the day, and it certainly makes my day a much better one. I find myself smiling more, feeling more alive. Yes, just that little bit more messages and effort a day =D
`Happiness I cant describe, but the feeling of it is back =D
Filed under: Life
I just want to go catch a movie. Able to eat anything whenever and whatever I want. Entitled to have a conversation freely just as I would speak. Go for any event without much consideration. Hold my head up high. Scanning for faces with deep anxiety. Just to be as free as a free man would be. Yearning to be me, happy.
`with you, for you, I will do it, I must.
Filed under: Life
A picture speaks a thousand words, and yet again, a good representation. No school for me tomorrow! Like seriously, the sigh of relieve that I managed to breath out is MASSIVE, GARGANTUAN and definitely GINORMOUS. Anything to do with extra huge pretty well describes it. Like a little kid getting his first bike tomorrow I am excited, maybe this sums up what having no life really means.
Filed under: Life
Met up with my secondary school class mates yesterday and woah! How much fun I had missed out since I move on to College. The experience was great, just getting back to the old circle of friends and have a good chat around, probably noticing subtle differences from each of my previous classmates. Now we all procceed on to different routes, hopefully there will be more gatherings coming up!
Work work work, SCHOOL work! Tons of it! Time to crank up and flex those brain muscles!
`Happiness, a shared feeling. Beyond words can exlpain.
Filed under: Life
Like a dog I have no say, to waggle my tail and just follow what I am told. Yet what other choice do I have. Strangled within my thoughts, not even the happiest of all memories can save me now. Placed under such circumstances, no body would understand and to sympathize. Alone, out to die.
Filed under: Life
Since the age of which I can remember for as long as I can, I sucked at skipping, and during then with the tantrum of a small kid, I told myself with downright determination that I would never ever pick up a pair of skipping ropes again. Ironically, probably 10 long years later, I am right now organising some kind of ‘jump rope’ events for other kids. Kids just like my age when I threw that pair of skipping ropes out of the window. Fortunately, it’s a microphone that I will be picking up for this session, for I am more or less the organiser to guide the kids throughout the event. A daunting task as well. Working with kids are highly unexpectable, those enthusiastically fueled chatter boxes prep for some kind of massive explosion of either laughter or tears at any moment. I had my experiences, hopefully everything will just run smoothly on that day itself. School as mundane as usual, neither stressful or relax, though some kind of rubber band effect has surfaced when lectures are going on at a fast pace and opportunities to catch up with them are limited. In short, FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS!
`Something like that will never happen again… Never…
