Drip by …. drip

People call it an education, its good for you, gives you a job, benefits you by broadening your understanding about this world and giving you new perspectives. It allows you to make friends, make enemies, find love, and if you are lucky, find who you truly are. Like the video ‘Sunscreen’, ‘some people still do not know what they want to do when they are 55 (or something like that)’. Yet here I am, typing away pretending myself to be a person of dense knowledge and wisdom, where Shakespeare words can be in my palette or perhaps with a brush and paint I can recreate Wordsworth’s vision of Mont Blanc. Given enough chances, I may work out a mathematical formula to calculate the chances of yourself blinking your eye during a meeting or lesson.

Many has crossed this line, this line that I am after as well, no doubt time passes like a blink of an eye, yet in the midst of the blink there is no comfort to be felt. Sometimes I may be strong, brace myself for the wave of knowledge to come. Yet this carapace may crumble like melted ice, drip by drip, the sight gets clearer, look closely, you would see nothing. From the studies of English Literature I may be tasked to do some close reading of the text above, yet what is the use? Perhaps the words of dead poets might give rise to some moments of great enlightenment, still what is there to behold? Drip by drip my strength falls away, not something a cup of coffee behind tinted glass can restore. People grow as time passes, while leaves fall and shrink to brown corpses after water is deprived from their very system. Magically flowers bloom after a harsh season of winter.

And me a bee shall go hunt for nectar.

“And this green pastoral landscape, were to me

More dear, both for themselves and for thy sake!”

Read Full Post »

Stillness.

Its as if the world has stop every single motion, leaving time to freeze, a frost that covers the entire land, just to achieve this stillness. A drop of water will give birth to dozens of ripples, yet at the same time, the image is broken. A single drop with a pernicious touch, for the dark would capsulate what is left of this light. Oh yes, role in the dramatic effect, or maybe I could do the same with the experience of life now.

A strong gust can disturb the leaf-littered pavement, yet at the same time might bring comfort on a temperate day. Rain can wash the muck away from the road, or even wrap you in coldness. Likewise, being suffocated with academia, it can either benefit me or put me out into a temporary narcosis.

Whatever the case is, its been a long while I lay my hands on writing these thoughts out, and apart from the normal and boring “life is all about ups and downs”, hopefully I can perpetuate on. Sitting on a roller coaster, the next segment of the track would probably the 360 degree loop to turn the mind inside out. Nevertheless, with adequate support, the wheels of my coaster is here to hang on tight.

Read Full Post »

Lights out.

The final curtain call, the gradual fading of applause, the gentle lights dimming while darkness fills in, the final ovation. Like light, time has evaded countlessly the grasp I tried to hold onto what I have. Yet with the speed of light, it is all over. A final bead of perspiration wiped away, yet the closing of another chapter. Music dances in the open air, refracted from wall to wall, further and further away, moving like a free child out of reach. Eventually grown, what a mighty man whom I would not have the ability to communicate with. I lay these clubs down, a last touch of the two shimmering platters, the last calls from monstrous cylinders. Packing up my frayed sticks. For music, band, percussion. Drumset. So Long.

Read Full Post »

what if…

We all have fallen before, be it the physically or mentally, while some make you look pure dumb, others purely hurts like a jackhammer shoved up your butt. Nevertheless, there are always friends, just something that I have never failed to realized even though I may have a smaller social circle than most have. Project work results had been out on Friday, I would say it was a pleasant experience for me, but yet, how have I helped those whom have fallen? A pat on the shoulder? A word of encouragement? By the end of the day, when the dust settles, it may all just be bullshit, but a hand is all one should provide, silently. Humbly.

Read Full Post »

Yea..

The music goes on, seated comfortable on the couch. People drift pass towards different locations across the window. Cars whiz past on the tarmac, the train stops and pick up again as the sun rises. Coffee on the table and typing this out, just the way I like it!

Read Full Post »

band festival

Band festival has finally come to an end! Concert was yesterday, and thank goodness it’s over. Some things are better off over and forgotten, this concert or rather the last piece that I have played is much better off deleted from my memory. So after 5 days of waking up in the wee hours of the morning to travel to the extreme west point of Singapore, to be able to get my ass planted at home for a whole day today is surely a form of rare gratification. Yet there is band practice tomorrow. To make matters worse, I am sick, sick of counting perhaps. Another performance coming up, hopefully it will be better.

` smile, laugh till I drop =D

Read Full Post »

2012

Just got back from movie session with my family, or rather the first movie session with my family. Yup, it’s the first time that the whole family is out for a movie, sounds kind of like a anti-social family. Anyway, 2012 ain’t really a good movie to catch for our very first time, watching the end of the world unfolding. With regards to the movie, it is as depressing as it can get, watching people die in every way possible, and in the end, less than 1% of the human population survive, and then add in your typical hollywood plot with the protagonist surviving the apocalypse with impossible stunts and kick ass graphics, an excuse to visit the cinema to worsen your hearing. It’s been a good day, to better appreciate my surroundings, my family, to enjoy. Life, this is probably what life should be, to do what I want with my freedom, with my very loved ones. Now is the break before next year, which is going to be a tough but nevertheless enjoyable! Life’s good now, so cherish it, with smiles =: D

 

` Tomorrow tomorrow!

Read Full Post »

post exam.

It’s been awhile since I have been back here. Time has passed, and fortunately this year has finally come to an end. A year of ups and downs, success and failures. Perhaps this has been the most hectic year in my life so far, with so many events unfolding one after another. Academically, I have done fairly well, and is now on route to the second year in college without any hiccups. Events that happened this year has been playing on repeat in my mind for the past few days, regardless of it’s significance. Yet again, the meaning of growing up has been reinforced, but also for the first time, happiness has been redefined. Now the time to play is finally here! To cherish your own life, and the people around you, should be the most important thing, so let me not forget that!

 

` A star..

Read Full Post »

fear.

An emotion, an instinct, a trigger, a killer. The beads of perspiration that may form on your forehead, the chill up your spine, the uncontrollable shaking of your legs or the source of your tears, fear revolves around and enters our lives from time to time. So what is the primal form of fear? Probably fear itself? Sometimes life can be so monotonous that there is nothing to fear but fear itself, and the only thing to fear is fear knocking on your front door itself. Imagine the tremendous comfort of feeling no fear, and yet, we may owe our existence to fear itself. The fear of getting hurt that is already primarily responsible for keeping us alive. In some cases, fear itself can be a emotion that one can do surely do without, same goes for others like greed and desire. However, won’t one then transform into a non-living organism without it’s basic instinct, a robot, never fearing for it’s own life and probably won’t even know it’s terminated when it’s head is on the other side of the hall. If life was just a switchboard, where we can turn on the mechanisms of our body when we need it, like turn on the trait of focus and switch off the need to sleep during lessons. Unfortunately, this switchboard, no matter how advance will still never match up to our instincts. Yet, I already have so much to fear and fear itself, and my life may be this switchboard, where I could trade it away and hopefully go to a better place, with no fear.

Read Full Post »

Learning

To deny, deprive and deject myself. Why not get shot instead, like an animal.

Read Full Post »