28/9/09

So, the exams are pretty much right around the corner now. Humming to the tune of my favourite band music, I cant exactly say I am stressed out. Most likely due to the fact that stress has already integrated into being a part of me, if stress was to exist, it certainly runs in my veins. Project work has been submitted, but unfortunately returned again for further editing, yet I wonder again how much time this will take from my preparations for the promotional exams.

Project work though, has taught me new lessons in life. The highly vital skill of working with others be it today or in the long future, working with others is certainly never easy, and collaborating with others also filters out the strong from the weak. Sad to say, this is still not the bulk of what is to expected when entering working life in future. I still certainly wish the makers of poject work harm, and for a good damn reason. Getting retained with even an A for project work may not even be worth another year of my time going through the same syllabus.

Read Full Post »

a life.

How has the complexity of human life developed over the years? How much has our lives modernized? How much more time are we spending on our computers and studies daily? Just how much has our lives changed? Probably this is a question most people have struggled to answer, to find a reason for all that we have to go through today. Poverty, war, economic crisis and stress. Stress from work, from studies and from the existence of stress itself which causes stress. How much are we happier in today than in the past? A thought I had stumbled along in one of my essay assignments, a question that is very much a one hit punch from reality. Are we really happy? Does all these material possessions bring true happiness? So if we are really truly happy, does that mean that people of the past were living in misery. The development of mankind has been a far too uneven one, from times where we hunt with sticks to just pressing a button today which can destroy a continent. From scribbling pictures on walls to leaving my impression of this world on this imaginable wall where everyone can access. Some people may say the life I have now is a simple life, where probably I only face teachers instead of politicians, bankers or lawyers, and so what? What does a complex life entail? A  guaranteed life filled with wants that are satisfied? Basic wants which are already replaced with other wants that defeats the basic principles of life? The want for peace, tranquility, the origin of mankind which began on the ground. Much has changed today where our basic wants may be met with so many obstacles, where getting a meal requires some sort of currency or benefit in return. Where having a respectable life equals to a few pieces of paper and an excuse for getting up early every morning also known as a job. If our lives has been simpler, where everyone is equal, where getting a meal will not cost you anything to return. Not much so of a communist method of living, but just a simpler life, where people get more chance to be like people, the basic need of meeting other people. Knowing other individuals, finding suitable partners or good friends without the need of conflicts. The fact that this post appears here already falsify all the necessity and needs of a simpler life, where one post here that can be read by so many others also in turn causes much trouble by creating more thoughts. Yet how did we get to what we are today? If Einstein did not exist would we be so interested in Science? If countries didn’t have presidents would there be a cause for so many individual perceptions of how this world should be like? Can one man make the difference. If the current and the future is to be left in the hands of fate, probably we would crumble, get reduced back to where we were in caves, but this world made up of more than six billion people, nothing and nobody is pretty much alone. Yet, what if we were to be alone?

Read Full Post »

8pm on a sunday.

Yes, it’s 8pm on a Sunday right now. 8pm, on a Sunday, which means there’s approximately just 11 hours left before I will find myself confined within the spaces of college yet again. I noticed that never ever have I hated the weekends, particularly Sunday. It seems like a bleak day, a day with no hopes, no fun and no satisfaction. Certainly a dreaded day, all because the next day is Monday. I did hide myself into a bubble if that is what is takes to seclude myself from the word of Monday and hopefully reach the word Friday. Never had I guessed that I would dedicate a post on Monday Blue’s as well, perhaps one should never underestimate the power of Mondays Blue’s. And now it’s 8.30pm, which means I have 10 and a half hours left. Hopefully I can drag every atom, particle, molecule and substance of myself off the bed for college tomorrow.

Read Full Post »

disgust

Ever met a person whom you just develop a sort of distaste for that particular person immediately upon first sight? Well I am sure everybody has to a certain extent be it everyone you do actually meet. I always remember the first day of my college life when I happen to walk by this demonic, insanely horrific looking devil from the bottom of hell walk upon the very asphalt that I lay my feet on as well. At that every instance, being a human seems to be a grave association with that being or if I would assume so. How that thing still manages to carry itself with such a high ego completely mortifies me to a extent you will find my jaws flat on the ground. I am sure my college mates will understand this, but what I would say is, the course of my education has just turned for the worse. Maybe I could just remember, politeness is key.

Read Full Post »

the downhill ride

Spending some time by myself today, I have come to notice a link between my college life and probably geography. Yes, the constant thoughts of my curriculum work still hangs in my head when I presumably should be resting and focus my train of thoughts to other daily matters. Having no life aside, college life, according to my new perception, sounds like this.

Like following the course of a river downhill on a kayak. Near the summit, when the course is still slightly gentle, things seems to be fine or rather not as bad as expected. Who knows, right after the bend, a set of rapid appears, gushing torrents of water threatening to swallow up any obtrusive visitor, furthermore a tiny kayak in relative to the intimidating size of a river. Enter the rapids and soon rocks out of nowhere seems to appear, slam into one of those, probably the trip downstream would be an unconscious one. Yet like an Olympic gold medalist, we are expected impress the judges as if the cascade of white water weighs like a feather. Water gushes up and provoking every cavity of the human body, still, it’s not suppose to hurt. Like eye bags the size of a grape fruit and eye lids weighing a ton each, there is still loads of work to do. 

After what is thought to be the worst is finally over, a menacing waterfall of towering proportions lay just right in front appearing calm, but with the tyrannical roar of water facing the law’s of gravity resonating beneath the edges of protruding rocks. Should one try to kayak to the banks of the river? Try to brace oneself for the impact? No, the river is too wide, and time isn’t cooperating. Take the plunge, tightening every muscle, shutting the eye lids as hard as possible to cancel out the image of fear presented ahead. Some may miraculously make it, others, less fortunate. Like taking tests from class quizzes to major exams, everybody would strive to do well. 

At the end of the stream the waters are calm. After a wreck of the journey one had to go through, some coming out bruised, some emerging victorious, some appearing fatalistic, but all being a changed person. Question is, who will be there to save you after you reached the end point? What is there to hand on to even during that tormenting journey? Ultimately, how will I fare and emerge after this chosen path of education.

Read Full Post »

“Fun” Fair.

Last saturday was my college “fun” fair also also known as ‘celebrating values day’. Maybe they should name it ‘scamming people for school fund day’. Any name that is relevant to that name would do fine. It wasn’t much fun for me unfortunately. It was my first Band performance together with my college band. So when I said there wasn’t much fun, the concert was definitely not a good one as well. Hopefully I can do better in the next performance, and as it is SYF, probably I must do better then. The rest of the day was just like any usual fair, a noisy suffocative event stuffed into the middle of an oven. Glad that I managed to leave early, and since I managed to leave early with my beloved, I was surely more than glad =D Right now is the holidays, where half of it is spent in school to make up for the days lost in the compulsory camp organised by our very own college. Right, we are forced to go back to school when they have forced us to attend the camp in the first place. So it’s back to work and less chit chat. Band camp coming up, and I am tremendously sure it will be better than our orientation camp. What’s more, it’s only 10 bucks. 

 

` Always here for you.. =D

Read Full Post »

feel the beat.

Maybe some kind of fairy in charge of education suddenly decided to bless me, cos for now, in an unbelievable 360 degree change, I am starting to get used to the rhythm of school (without hating it). Except suffering from week day blues of waking up at 6.15am, thing seem to be going well. Maybe it’s the satisfaction I get for completing assignments and doing them well. Hopefully I can keep this up, for the benefit of my studies. I got to say though, secondary school like is still very much missed, especially the fun and laughter in class. All I can enjoy now is the rapping of teachers, but I guess everyone will grow up and has to move on. The first term of school is ending, followed by the hell and fury of the next term with mega tons of assignments and truck loads of other academic and CCA work to catch up on. This, I am pretty sure of. For now, I already managed to get an appetiser of how Project Work will be like. One simple conclusion about it, if you get members who cant work well with you, it’s going to be a bitch, going one big round to bite you in your back. 

`Together we can go through this. I am always here, remember =) 

Read Full Post »

lesson proper

Welcome to the world of the Junior College, where the timetable is filled with pretty much alot of breaks. Well, some days you will be slapped with two and a half hours of break and others with an hour of break given separately in half hour instalments. I realise that recieving education in my college is sort of like hunting down a treasure map, yes, something similar within that line, for every lesson is held at different locations. Same subject lessons in different days of the weeks are also held in different venues according to the college’s preference. Perhaps their preference are limited by the infinite variants of subject combinations. Applause for the staff who managed to put up the timetable, kind of seems like a well orchestrated show to me with students running around the campus without bumping into each other and listening to unrelated lectures to their subjects. Recieved my first assignment today which is Chemistry. Somehow I look forward to doing it, and even if I don’t, there are probably a whole lot worth of assingments to come stacked up to maybe as high as Everest, so why not look at the positive side?

 

`Addiction, I totally agree my beloved =D

Read Full Post »

ITS OVER!!!!

I have been looking at you for some time now, unavoidable, your mere presence is dominating. You dictate whatever that I do, from what time I shall rise to when I should turn in. From what I eat to the length of my hair. Resting upon my walls like an emperor in the forbidden city, but only colder.

You are unreasonable, never giving in to any demands. Barging into my life with multiple tasks to carry out, I am forced to fulfill every one of them as if there was a gun on my head. Knowing so little about you, yet without notice my life revolves around you. As large as Everest but twice as bitter, displaying no signs of appreciation or encouragement.

Knowing all about my particulars but not revealing yourself until the very moment, even more cunning than a spy. Never out of my realm of thoughts, counselling never seemed so useless. A twin to a genocide, you claim notorious number of victims to suffer your wrath. The place where numbers don’t count. David will never defeat Goliath. Now, it’s time to put an end to things.

My damn ‘O’ Level entry proof, its time you get out my life! Our lives! Shredded to pieces, pray that you will never come back and haunt me of your presence ever again.

Read Full Post »

30/9/08

It’s 16 more days to the major exams and counting. So am I fretting? Oh fret not. With so much damn work on me everyday I guess there is not enough time and effort left to fret. Through this difficult time, I still managed to get a look at the different faces of human nature and how difficult it is to predict them. A simple note from my teacher, whom is not at much respected just gives the encouragements worth much more than the words found in it. A teacher whom is not good at teaching, misunderstands students, often get scorned at, seldom related to the word caring and often executing acts not anywhere near that adjective can yet still find the time to just cheer on the students with small pieces of laminated coloured paper. Well, though I would prefer she gave us notes and for what she did not do for quite some time, sit down with us to fully explain and let us understand her teaching, this simple encouragements still boosts me at great lenghts maybe due to her character of which this is unexpected of. Sadly, simple requests which are expected to be met from desired people cant be fulfilled. Understanding, a human value that should be extended out as much as possible, but what should be done when understanding gets ruled over by complacency? Is there a choice not to be more understanding.

Read Full Post »