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The Change

We read in the papers, listen and watch from the television, that the world is always changing, ever evolving. Changes happen all the time, a few hours ago this morning I changed into my working attire, mundane changes, nothing out of the blue. So what are the changes that can make a huge difference in your life? Losing someone perhaps.

My last post was posted about a year ago, now here I am back again, realizing these changes. Losing someone can be really painful, and it feels as if the world is just surging forward, while you are crippled in a stand still. Some say the world is cruel, that this is a place for the survival of the fittest. Being fit is not the key now, accepting the change, I guess is the only way to move forward.

Looking back, I guess that I have changed a huge lot myself. All I can say is, thanks for accepting me for who I am, and make me change for the better as well. This world is never the same without you. Gazing at the stars last night, I remember how I used to appreciate it. With a starless night greeting my dreary eyes last night, clear sky gets clouded with tears. Appreciate what you have, as you will never know it’s true value till you lost it, I cant say this often enough, and this is the change I am trying to make from now on.

 

~Thank you.

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One of my favorite gundams in this price range!


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28/8/09

I lost afterall..

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如烟

我的生命就如烟。

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Depression

Pushed to the very edge, with no where else to go. Probably left with just a jump, which I can take to close my eyes forever.

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Smile..

On the brink of depression, already in a state of desperation. All torn up inside, I really need the strength now, to give in all I have got. For just a cheerful smile, in exchange to do away with all the tears I can ever shed. Please.

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1/7/09

So unfair that time can just slip away from us like that. A 24 hour window given to me to probably rejoice. So unfair that events can twist just without prior notice. So unfair that this world is so unfair. I have probably learnt not to ask why there is a why for each of this factors, answers will never come. This day, marked forever in the rest of my life, definitely, is going to change. Yes, without prior notice, twisted, for the rest of my life on this day. Goddamn bloody fucking depressed, that’s only an understatement. 3 more hours to the next crucial paper, unfair.

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30/6/09

Numbed. Again. Of all days. Of all days. Of all days. Of all days today will pass this way. Of all days.

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14/5/09

To sell my soul to the devil, which seems like the only way of redemption. To be incinerated into a pile of ashes, for I am a cold, heartless creature, not meant for this world.

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DEAD

Point a gun at my head. Shoot me point blank. I did rather be dead. What’s the point of living? What’s the point? Pain, I don’t feel any of it anymore. Overwhelmed by pain, what’s pain? Just a feeling? No, maybe it’s probably nothing, of no significance, and I know, when there is no more pain, I should be at eternal rest.

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